I want to go back there.
to the land of being insane.
of taking forward ever faster
I want another natural disaster,
where your eyes flooded with mine
and we cried over the end of our marriage-
and over the grief unspent over many years-
that we have both mourned the same man
yet never mentioned him by name?
your wonderful, vibrant, hilarious,loyal and amazing
it all went over the hill after he left us still?
yet i still miss him everyday,
and respect your feelings too much
too much about him.
your still in the early stages of loss-
you long to forget him in your grief,
you try to recall him
in your sleep.
My mama she left me
a longer while ago.
i can think of her and him both
as happy someplace though.
i refuse to say your name
or your secret pain
just that the man i loved
he finally cried
over his lost father
eight years ago or longer.