Can i get back on the Crazytrain?

I want to go back there.

to the land of being insane.

of taking forward ever faster

that silly

Crazytrain?

I want another natural disaster,

where your eyes flooded with mine

and we cried over the end of our marriage-

and over the grief unspent over many years-

that we have both mourned the same man

yet never mentioned him by name?

your wonderful, vibrant, hilarious,loyal and amazing

dead father.

it all went over the hill after he left us still?

yet i still miss him everyday,

and respect your feelings too much

to say

too much about him.

your still in the early stages of loss-

you long to forget him in your grief,

you try to recall him

in your sleep.

My mama she left me

a longer while ago.

i can think of her and him both

as happy someplace though.

i refuse to say your name

or your secret pain

just that the man i loved

he finally cried

over his lost father

who died

eight years ago or longer.